I am constantly reminding myself that I am not “by myself”
The end of the semester was a hell of a disaster, rain seemed to get my mood, it wouldn’t stop crying. But I said maybe it’s just constipated and finally gets to take a wee, that was a bad joke. It didn’t make me feel any better.
So it was yet another cycle of feeling fulfilled when i saw my calendar full of writings, but feeling just like a tool working with no humanity. I was yet again fighting this wet, dark world alone, and the pressure of un-talkative elders looming over me.
I rode the motorcycle that was left behind for me, but i refused to wear the raincoat.
I miss you. I put on all you’re clothes.
3of February was the day I finally got my holidays.
There I stood, looking silly with a big brown luggage when my home was only an hour and a half away. freezing still, I looked back on the semester.
The bustling sunshine first half, contained of all the events that seemed to last forever, Friends, Laughter, Love, Food.
Then the second half, cold eyes, night rides, and tons and tons of drinks, eyeshadow, smoke.
Then the realisation dawns me once again, I had not breeze through this alone.
puking on sidewalks, you guys were there to comfort me. Balcony talk, cup noodles.
sitting by the river, admitting once again how alike we were,
singing offtunes and really doing nothing on the dorm bed,
walking pointlessly around, riding long before the world gone to sleep.
Ktv, beer, movies,
My Youth, Our memory.
Warmth despite the fact i was stone cold on the inside.